So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize