Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize