Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
