didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
