i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
