i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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