When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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