i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
