Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You dont lie about slip and slides
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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