I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
