so that wasnt chicken after all
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
