I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize