i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I pour the whiskey from now on
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
