so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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