Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
