i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
