theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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