exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
