i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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