i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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