Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize