okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
