I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
