I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
