if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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