I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
