Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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