Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize