So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
