I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm like, not good at living.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
