so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
