I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
