I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
