And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
