you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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