nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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