I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
