It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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