Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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