I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
