Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
