One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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