Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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