i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
