he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I AM VODKA MAN
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
