don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Randomize
