no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i would punch a child for taco bell
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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