I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Randomize
