Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She's the barista slut.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
