If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We have so much sex to catch up on
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
