FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
