well you can't waste a boner
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
