I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
