I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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