saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
