this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
