Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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