The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
what day is it and did you see me today?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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