i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
