Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
