Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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