it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
