"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
