yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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